FAYETTE COUNTY, WV (WOAY) – Valentine’s Day is about romance and being with your loved one.
But for all the sweetness of the holiday — it can be tough for those experiencing grief, loneliness, and heartbreak.
“For like 15 years, we would send a single rose on Valentine’s Day every morning at 8:00 to this little old lady who had lost her husband,” said Designs by Barb & James Barbara Halstenberg. “On the card, it was ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you from heaven.’ One of her children sent it (yearly) to let that lady know she was still loved and he was looking down on her.”
Even though Valentine’s Day can be challenging — our loved ones are always in our consciousness.
“We care. We love our loved ones. And even though one has passed or we’re by ourselves we still need to feel that love,” Halstenberg said. “And we want to give that love.”
Whatever brought you to love and loss, embracing that grief is okay and processing your emotions is a big deal during this holiday.
“Bring it back to that celebration of life. If y‘all have traditions, go and do those traditions or come up with your own traditions,” said Project Aware Behavioral Health Therapist Kassie Gunnoe. “I think sometimes being on social media can be kind of downing. So limiting our time doing that and focusing on those around us and those we value.”
Sitting in solitude on Valentine’s Day can bring up many memories.
“To what you have experienced and how you were loved,” Halstenberg said. ” You try to get solace in having loving memories of the one you’ve loved and lost.”
According to the Designs by Barb and James owner — the experience of love and being wanted and okay in your heart when you’ve lost someone dear to you can take many forms.
“We go to the cemetery with dozens of roses,” Halstenberg said. “We go to the cemetery with a balloon attached that says, ‘I love you’ or ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ Even that is a show of affection.”
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, include those people who are no longer with us; commemorate their memory, and don’t forget to cherish yourself.
“Even if you don’t have someone to give you flowers or chocolates or anything like that, give it to yourself. Give yourself some love,” said Gunnoe. “You can even write yourself a little love message if you want to. I think it’s very important to value who you are, possibly what you’ve overcome, and find yourself important as well.”
Love is all we need.
“The physical knowing that somebody cares that you have loved and lost or whatever that emotion is we never lose,” Halstenberg said. “It’s a part of us.”
